As a non-native speaker, there are certain moments that make me break out in a sweat when speaking German. These moments have traditionally included when showing my passport at immigration, spelling my name and address on the phone, and any time I have to use a microphone.
Now, there is a new one, to top all others:
Writing anything at all to my daughter's teacher.
Eek!
It's like I fear she will give up teaching my child completely as soon as she figures out it's not worth the bother, given her mother's lack of German skills. Obviously, this is an issue better saved for my therapist than my blog, but I bet some of you out there can relate.
I had to write my first excuse for my Rebecca's absence today, and I am including it below as a sample for the rest of you. (This is for a child missing school due to illness)
My husband proofread the German, but take that for what it's worth, considering the insane dialect he grew up speaking.
Sehr geehrte Frau xxx / Sehr geehrter Herr xxx,
meine Tochter Rebecca / mein Sohn Robert konnte am 22.01.2013 krankheitsbedingt nicht am Unterricht teilnehmen. Ich bitte dies zu entschuldigen.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen
(signature)
Wednesday, January 23, 2013
With a cherry on top.
So I'm all about "It's not better or worse, it's just different." Being an Experiment e.V. exchange student and local coordinator taught me well. But today is a day that I can tell you that's baloney. It's better. And it's worse at the same time. And that's the problem.
Take our trip to the ice cream parlor.
Better: Real whipped cream.
Worse: Square spoons.
Better: Spaghetti Eis
Worse: No freaking napkins.
I should make it my life's mission to get ice cream shops to stock napkins that aren't made of tissue paper and give you more than one.
It wouldn't change the world, but it would make it less sticky.
Shown: my best girl modeling the napkin we got in request at the ice cream place. :)
Take our trip to the ice cream parlor.
Better: Real whipped cream.
Worse: Square spoons.
Better: Spaghetti Eis
Worse: No freaking napkins.
I should make it my life's mission to get ice cream shops to stock napkins that aren't made of tissue paper and give you more than one.
It wouldn't change the world, but it would make it less sticky.
Shown: my best girl modeling the napkin we got in request at the ice cream place. :)
Tuesday, January 22, 2013
U-Untersuchungen
Checking out your check-ups
We moved back from the U.S. when Rebecca was just turning four, so I took her in for her four-year checkup a few weeks after her fourth birthday. I was super-proud of myself for remembering to take the yellow booklet doctors filled out at her check-outs with me. ("U-Heft") Considering I had been out of the country for almost three years, I thought our doctor would praise me for it, but she didn't. She freaked out on me. Like, freaked out in a way that left me in a huff and eventually changing pediatricians.
And then she asked me if I had never actually bothered to read the booklet. (See why I stopped going to her?!? But I digress.) But I suppose she did have a point because right there on the cover, there was a list of time frames when these check-ups are supposed to take place, complete with a handy area for me to personalize those time frames for my kid.
Since then, I have seen that other pediatricians print out a label listing your personal dates for scatter-brained moms like me. Alas, in 2006, we were still in the dark ages.
You will receive the booklet at the hospital when your baby is born, or from your pediatrician if you moved here with a child.
So these check-ups are a big deal. Such a big deal, in fact, that if you don't have them performed on your child within the time span, you will get an official warning to do so (apparently there is confirmation sent by your pediatrician after you have them done). If you don't respond to that warning by having the screenings done, the Jugendamt (Child Services) may even contact you. And I'm sure that is something you don't want to go through.
Don't panic unnecessarily though, as there is a certain "tolerance" period if you are a bit late having the screen done.
Some helpful advice:
Keep your "U-Heft" handy. This booklet is super important when your child is a baby because it contains all of his/her developmental information. I took it with us on trips in case I needed to refer to the records, and when we had to use urgent care services when Rebecca was an infant, the doctor asked to see it. It isn't mandatory that you carry it around with you, obviously, but it is helpful to have in a time of need.
You might also need to provide it to register a child for pre-school or school.
Make your screening appointments early as these are long-ish appointments, and even pediatricians who will usually see you on short notice appreciate parents scheduling these early.
Ensure you have your immunizations booklet with you, as any necessary immunizations will also be given during the check-up.
Watch your math. Maybe you are all faster than I am, but I find the whole "second year of life" thing difficult. That is when your kid is 1, not 2, which is somehow counter-intuitive to me. So if the U5 is in the 'sixth - seventh month of life", your child will be 5-6 months old when it is performed. This math continues to blow my mind today, I am sad to admit.
Be prepared This is your chance to ask your pediatrician any developmental questions you may have, so make sure to note down anything you would like to mention. Comprehensive information about the screenings is available in this PDF leaflet so you can anticipate what the screening might cover.
These early screenings were introduced in 1991, which might explain the funky appearance of the booklets. The purpose is to detect any childhood illnesses or issues early, and they are free of charge (i.e. covered by all insurance plans without any co-pay). They screen for general health, movement, dexterity, speech issues, comprehension, social skills, dental health, obesity, and include 10 mandatory visits up to the age of six (school age), plus one during your child's teens (12-14 years of age).
Only those first ten will be covered in your booklet, and the picture above is actually outdated, as there is now a U7a screening between the 34th and 36 months of life. U7a is a little tricky since it was recently added, so some insurance plans don't cover it. Make sure with your pediatrician that yours will. Some insurance plans cover a modified, simplified version of the U7a.
There are also "optional" new screenings. Some insurance plans will cover them, and some won't. They focus on things you will probably be speaking to your pediatrician about anyway but have been developed to standardize the evaluations in these fields.
They include
U10 at 6-7 years old, screening for dyslexia and ADHD, motor skills assessment
U11 at 9-10 years old, checking school stress levels, social skills and the use of media
And then she asked me if I had never actually bothered to read the booklet. (See why I stopped going to her?!? But I digress.) But I suppose she did have a point because right there on the cover, there was a list of time frames when these check-ups are supposed to take place, complete with a handy area for me to personalize those time frames for my kid.
Since then, I have seen that other pediatricians print out a label listing your personal dates for scatter-brained moms like me. Alas, in 2006, we were still in the dark ages.
You will receive the booklet at the hospital when your baby is born, or from your pediatrician if you moved here with a child.
So these check-ups are a big deal. Such a big deal, in fact, that if you don't have them performed on your child within the time span, you will get an official warning to do so (apparently there is confirmation sent by your pediatrician after you have them done). If you don't respond to that warning by having the screenings done, the Jugendamt (Child Services) may even contact you. And I'm sure that is something you don't want to go through.
Don't panic unnecessarily though, as there is a certain "tolerance" period if you are a bit late having the screen done.
Some helpful advice:
Keep your "U-Heft" handy. This booklet is super important when your child is a baby because it contains all of his/her developmental information. I took it with us on trips in case I needed to refer to the records, and when we had to use urgent care services when Rebecca was an infant, the doctor asked to see it. It isn't mandatory that you carry it around with you, obviously, but it is helpful to have in a time of need.
You might also need to provide it to register a child for pre-school or school.
Make your screening appointments early as these are long-ish appointments, and even pediatricians who will usually see you on short notice appreciate parents scheduling these early.
Ensure you have your immunizations booklet with you, as any necessary immunizations will also be given during the check-up.
Watch your math. Maybe you are all faster than I am, but I find the whole "second year of life" thing difficult. That is when your kid is 1, not 2, which is somehow counter-intuitive to me. So if the U5 is in the 'sixth - seventh month of life", your child will be 5-6 months old when it is performed. This math continues to blow my mind today, I am sad to admit.
Be prepared This is your chance to ask your pediatrician any developmental questions you may have, so make sure to note down anything you would like to mention. Comprehensive information about the screenings is available in this PDF leaflet so you can anticipate what the screening might cover.
These early screenings were introduced in 1991, which might explain the funky appearance of the booklets. The purpose is to detect any childhood illnesses or issues early, and they are free of charge (i.e. covered by all insurance plans without any co-pay). They screen for general health, movement, dexterity, speech issues, comprehension, social skills, dental health, obesity, and include 10 mandatory visits up to the age of six (school age), plus one during your child's teens (12-14 years of age).
Only those first ten will be covered in your booklet, and the picture above is actually outdated, as there is now a U7a screening between the 34th and 36 months of life. U7a is a little tricky since it was recently added, so some insurance plans don't cover it. Make sure with your pediatrician that yours will. Some insurance plans cover a modified, simplified version of the U7a.
There are also "optional" new screenings. Some insurance plans will cover them, and some won't. They focus on things you will probably be speaking to your pediatrician about anyway but have been developed to standardize the evaluations in these fields.
They include
U10 at 6-7 years old, screening for dyslexia and ADHD, motor skills assessment
U11 at 9-10 years old, checking school stress levels, social skills and the use of media
Sunday, January 20, 2013
Product envy: "Reading Together" books
Every so often, I come across a product that is so useful, widespread or just plain awesome that I cannot imagine why we don't have it in the U.S.
These books are a great example of this:
Our family has truly enjoyed these books as Rebecca has been learning to read. Her passages are long enough that she is proud about contributing to the story, yet short enough that she doesn't get bored. Incorporating adult sections means that the stories can be more complex and flow better than elementary books alone can. The stories aren't as watered down for the early reader. There are even versions of classic books, such as Heidi and The Jungle Book
I have done a few Google searches and found some similar English books, but nothing seems to be from a major publisher or available in most bookstores. So to all of my writer friends, get on it! This is such a great idea, and I bet American kids would love it, too. (I'd do it myself, but this blog is already pushing the limits of my creative talent.)
If you are interested in the German versions, you can find them on Amazon:
"Erst ich ein Stück, dann du" on Amazon
"Wir lesen zusammen" books on Amazon
These books are a great example of this:
The yellow one is from the "Erst ich ein Stück, dann du" ("It's my turn first, then yours" which is a terrible name in English but works nicely in German.) The one on the left is from the similar "wir lesen zusammen" ("Reading together") series. There are lots of books like this available here for early readers. They are meant to be read by parents and kids together, each reading their own passages aloud.
As soon as you open the book, you can figure out who should read which part. The adult segments are more difficult to read and in a smaller font, while the children sections are in a larger easier-to-read font and use vocabulary kids are familiar with, as you can see in this example from the "Geheimnisvoller Besuch in Klasse 1" book above.
Our family has truly enjoyed these books as Rebecca has been learning to read. Her passages are long enough that she is proud about contributing to the story, yet short enough that she doesn't get bored. Incorporating adult sections means that the stories can be more complex and flow better than elementary books alone can. The stories aren't as watered down for the early reader. There are even versions of classic books, such as Heidi and The Jungle Book
I have done a few Google searches and found some similar English books, but nothing seems to be from a major publisher or available in most bookstores. So to all of my writer friends, get on it! This is such a great idea, and I bet American kids would love it, too. (I'd do it myself, but this blog is already pushing the limits of my creative talent.)
If you are interested in the German versions, you can find them on Amazon:
"Erst ich ein Stück, dann du" on Amazon
"Wir lesen zusammen" books on Amazon
German kids are like little onions.
And I mean that in the best way possible.
I love seeing pictures of my American friends' kids on Facebook, especially the infants. They look so happy, wiggling around in their onesies, kicking fat bare legs. My Rebecca was never so lucky, because she was a baby in Germany, and she was dressed accordingly. "Dressed accordingly" meant wearing a diaper, cotton tights, lined pants, socks over the tights, tee over the onesie, sweatshirt on top, accessorized with a smart little three-cornered scarf on top of it all.
In warmer spring and fall weather, unlined pants were acceptable, and the top sweatshirt could be foregone, but the rest of the layers were mandatory. Rebecca was often barefoot at home, and I could feel German guests looking at her little piggies, not quite understanding why they were right there, squirming around instead of inside tights, where they belonged. You are never fully dressed without a pair of tights.
For the record, the little boys wear tights, too. (I thought putting tights on boys was completely practical in the winter and something we Americans could definitely learn from the Germans.) Oddly, at home when it's warm, instead of getting crazy and not wearing tights, the tights are actually worn in lieu of pants.
And then there are the snowsuits. The SNOWSUITS. The name itself implies the existence of snow, right? Well, no. Not here. Kids will be in snowsuits as soon as it gets chilly. Fair enough, they are being pushed around in strollers, and you do get cold when you aren't moving around. But putting a child in a snowsuit when the weather dips below 50 degrees just seems excessive to me, somehow. You will see sweaty kids throwing fits inside, probably due to the seven layers of clothes they are wearing while swaddled in a bunting in a stroller and sitting in a warm store.
Once I learned to dress my daughter correctly indoors, I was ready to take her out. I will never forget the day she was finally able to sit up and run her fingers through the sand, and we headed down to the Hofgarten in Düsseldorf. I plucked her out of her stroller and sat her in the sand. And that's when I noticed it: the German kids had special attire for this. I can best describe these outdoor playpants as thick lined overalls made of plastic tarp material. They are pulled on over kids' clothing to keep it clean and dry while kids play outside. Sometimes there is a matching jacket. It's entirely practical, and it was completely foreign to me.
If your child attends Kindergarten here, you will probably be asked to provide a set of these pants & jacket sets to be left at the school. However, my daughter's school didn't force the kids to wear them, so ours always just hung there unused, year for year, to be donated at the end of the year without ever having been worn. Rebecca also had a pair of rain/sand boots for the school playground. Optionally, you can bring a snowsuit in the winter, provided your child will be willing to wear it. (I assume younger kids are forced right into them, while the older kids have to put them on on their own – or not, in Rebecca's case)
If you are looking to buy them, they are called Matschhosen or Buddelhosen. The discounters usually have them before school starts, and you should try ones that are thicker, almost rubberish, rather than the thinner ones made of "windbreaker" material (unless that is your thing, in which case, knock yourself out.) Most of them have reflective strips, for whatever reason. I've also seen most kids wear those stirrup straps outside the boots, while I put Rebecca's over her feet because I couldn't figure that out.
FYI, this is one of those items that will have the moms lined up in front of Aldi or Lidl at 8:00 a.m. the day they go on sale, so you need to be quick. Otherwise, they are seasonal products at stores which carry products for kids. Also, because everyone else's mom also queued at Aldi to get them, make sure to label them with your kid's name,
When buying playground boots, look for the ones that have a lining with a drawstring at the top. These can be closed up so they don't fill up with sand. I think they are far more practical than the ones without the lining.
And now, just imagine that German moms are probably ironing all of these layers of kids' clothing. Wow.
(Images shown are Lidl Matschhosen and Tchibo boots, both now out of stock)
In warmer spring and fall weather, unlined pants were acceptable, and the top sweatshirt could be foregone, but the rest of the layers were mandatory. Rebecca was often barefoot at home, and I could feel German guests looking at her little piggies, not quite understanding why they were right there, squirming around instead of inside tights, where they belonged. You are never fully dressed without a pair of tights.
For the record, the little boys wear tights, too. (I thought putting tights on boys was completely practical in the winter and something we Americans could definitely learn from the Germans.) Oddly, at home when it's warm, instead of getting crazy and not wearing tights, the tights are actually worn in lieu of pants.
And then there are the snowsuits. The SNOWSUITS. The name itself implies the existence of snow, right? Well, no. Not here. Kids will be in snowsuits as soon as it gets chilly. Fair enough, they are being pushed around in strollers, and you do get cold when you aren't moving around. But putting a child in a snowsuit when the weather dips below 50 degrees just seems excessive to me, somehow. You will see sweaty kids throwing fits inside, probably due to the seven layers of clothes they are wearing while swaddled in a bunting in a stroller and sitting in a warm store.
If your child goes to a German preschool, be prepared to be told you aren't dressing him or her thickly enough. To me, this was a clear "pick your battles" situation, so I threw another layer on Rebecca (in our case socks over the tights, within her house shoes) and called it a day. An extra layer goes a long way around here.
Once I learned to dress my daughter correctly indoors, I was ready to take her out. I will never forget the day she was finally able to sit up and run her fingers through the sand, and we headed down to the Hofgarten in Düsseldorf. I plucked her out of her stroller and sat her in the sand. And that's when I noticed it: the German kids had special attire for this. I can best describe these outdoor playpants as thick lined overalls made of plastic tarp material. They are pulled on over kids' clothing to keep it clean and dry while kids play outside. Sometimes there is a matching jacket. It's entirely practical, and it was completely foreign to me.
If your child attends Kindergarten here, you will probably be asked to provide a set of these pants & jacket sets to be left at the school. However, my daughter's school didn't force the kids to wear them, so ours always just hung there unused, year for year, to be donated at the end of the year without ever having been worn. Rebecca also had a pair of rain/sand boots for the school playground. Optionally, you can bring a snowsuit in the winter, provided your child will be willing to wear it. (I assume younger kids are forced right into them, while the older kids have to put them on on their own – or not, in Rebecca's case)
If you are looking to buy them, they are called Matschhosen or Buddelhosen. The discounters usually have them before school starts, and you should try ones that are thicker, almost rubberish, rather than the thinner ones made of "windbreaker" material (unless that is your thing, in which case, knock yourself out.) Most of them have reflective strips, for whatever reason. I've also seen most kids wear those stirrup straps outside the boots, while I put Rebecca's over her feet because I couldn't figure that out.
FYI, this is one of those items that will have the moms lined up in front of Aldi or Lidl at 8:00 a.m. the day they go on sale, so you need to be quick. Otherwise, they are seasonal products at stores which carry products for kids. Also, because everyone else's mom also queued at Aldi to get them, make sure to label them with your kid's name,
When buying playground boots, look for the ones that have a lining with a drawstring at the top. These can be closed up so they don't fill up with sand. I think they are far more practical than the ones without the lining.
And now, just imagine that German moms are probably ironing all of these layers of kids' clothing. Wow.
(Images shown are Lidl Matschhosen and Tchibo boots, both now out of stock)
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Surprisingly important paperwork you should never, ever misplace, Part 1.
A few weeks ago, my daughter finally received her Seepferchen (seahorse) patch by jumping into the deep end of the pool, swimming the entire length of the pool and subsequently retreiving a ring from the bottom of the pool when standing in water which was shoulder-high. It's an important milestone for kids learning to swim.
She was as proud as can be, and so was I, and when I told German moms about her accomplishment, a few of them told me, "Don't lose that piece of paper!" Apparently, this is one of those certificates which you will need to produce in various situations. An acquantaince told me her 18-year-old son had to provide all his swimming certifcates (including the Seepferdchen he'd done at six) in order to go on a sailing trip with his church. Another said her teenage daughter has needed it at school a few times, including in high school
This is an important document which certainly doesn't look all that important to the untrained eye. It's the size of a passport and filled out by hand on the spot.
My husband Christoph, who is everyone's favorite uptight German and my reference for all things official, said it has three features that distinguish essential German documents. Here they come...
1) It is a standardized form, covering various different swimming associations
2) It has an official stamp on it
3) It has an official signature
So hold onto this one, you never know what it will be good for.
She was as proud as can be, and so was I, and when I told German moms about her accomplishment, a few of them told me, "Don't lose that piece of paper!" Apparently, this is one of those certificates which you will need to produce in various situations. An acquantaince told me her 18-year-old son had to provide all his swimming certifcates (including the Seepferdchen he'd done at six) in order to go on a sailing trip with his church. Another said her teenage daughter has needed it at school a few times, including in high school
This is an important document which certainly doesn't look all that important to the untrained eye. It's the size of a passport and filled out by hand on the spot.
My husband Christoph, who is everyone's favorite uptight German and my reference for all things official, said it has three features that distinguish essential German documents. Here they come...
1) It is a standardized form, covering various different swimming associations
2) It has an official stamp on it
3) It has an official signature
So hold onto this one, you never know what it will be good for.
Winter birthday parties for the faint of heart.
Moms of "winter babies" can relate: it's January or February, it's your kid's birthday, and you have no idea where to have the party because you intiated that one-kid-for-each-year-you're-old rule, and now your kid is seven, which means oh-dear-lord-that's-a-lot-of-kids-for-my-German-size-home panic is setting in. Add in some good-old guilt about being so far from most of your kid's relatives, and you have a recipe for disaster.
You can either brave it and have a party at home (German kid party ideas in a later post) or you can go my cowardly route and search for somewhere to host your party.
Some tips ahead of time:
- When picking a location, be aware that it is unusual for German kids to travel for a birthday party. We have held three parties within 3-4 miles of where we lived, and in all three cases, some parents have expected us to provide transportation since the party was "so far away". This year, we had a lovely mom show up with her booster seat under her arm and say she assumed we would at least be driving all the kids home. This will limit your choices of party venues tremendously. For us in Neuss, winter party locations are few and far between, especially for the younger set.
- Put together a gift basket for the convenience of other moms. We have used MyToys in RheinParkCenter in Neuss, but it is pretty straight-forward anywhere. More and more stores are offering this service, including Real and bookstores. Amazon.de wish lists are also common although birthday gifts tend to be below the €20 threshold for free shipping, so be aware of that. I have been told from German moms that €10 is the absolute limit for gifts, so be sure to provide affordable options (and not buy a €20 gift when your kid is invited somewhere).
- German kids usually open their gifts at the party. I am not 100% sure why American parties have moved away from this, but if you are having a party here, you should plan accordingly.
Our short-list included:
Ice skating rink in Neuss. This seemed like a fun option, but my girl wasn't having it, unfortunately. Maybe next year!
UCI Kinowelt in Neuss (Hafen) Your choices here are limited by the movies that are being shown. The only negative review I have heard about this place is that you often can't choose the film until the current schedule is announced, and sometimes the selection isn't great, so be sure to do your research there. Otherwise a great idea.
We ended up having our party at Zick Zack in Kaarst, a craft store which has opened up its classroom for birthday parties. It was a short-ish party at just over two hours, but the kids did enjoy it and it was something different. The store has a thick folder of craft ideas for different age groups, and our group of mixed ages really enjoyed the craft my daughter selected. It was a good in-and-out option, and our craft cost €10 per child, so it was also reasonably priced. Spaces are limited and fill up fast, though, especially on the weekend. If you would like a more detailed review straight from the horse's (=my) mouth, let me know. There is a new second location in Ratingen.
For older kids, there is a more expensive option offered at the indoor skiing venue at the Jever Skihalle
I think this might be our choice next year. Pools also offer parties, but I would wait until the kids were more experienced swimmers.
I will be posting my "controversial" review of Logo Lino in Neuss within a few days. (Spoiler alert: No. Never. Ever.)
You can either brave it and have a party at home (German kid party ideas in a later post) or you can go my cowardly route and search for somewhere to host your party.
Some tips ahead of time:
- When picking a location, be aware that it is unusual for German kids to travel for a birthday party. We have held three parties within 3-4 miles of where we lived, and in all three cases, some parents have expected us to provide transportation since the party was "so far away". This year, we had a lovely mom show up with her booster seat under her arm and say she assumed we would at least be driving all the kids home. This will limit your choices of party venues tremendously. For us in Neuss, winter party locations are few and far between, especially for the younger set.
- Put together a gift basket for the convenience of other moms. We have used MyToys in RheinParkCenter in Neuss, but it is pretty straight-forward anywhere. More and more stores are offering this service, including Real and bookstores. Amazon.de wish lists are also common although birthday gifts tend to be below the €20 threshold for free shipping, so be aware of that. I have been told from German moms that €10 is the absolute limit for gifts, so be sure to provide affordable options (and not buy a €20 gift when your kid is invited somewhere).
- German kids usually open their gifts at the party. I am not 100% sure why American parties have moved away from this, but if you are having a party here, you should plan accordingly.
Our short-list included:
Ice skating rink in Neuss. This seemed like a fun option, but my girl wasn't having it, unfortunately. Maybe next year!
UCI Kinowelt in Neuss (Hafen) Your choices here are limited by the movies that are being shown. The only negative review I have heard about this place is that you often can't choose the film until the current schedule is announced, and sometimes the selection isn't great, so be sure to do your research there. Otherwise a great idea.
We ended up having our party at Zick Zack in Kaarst, a craft store which has opened up its classroom for birthday parties. It was a short-ish party at just over two hours, but the kids did enjoy it and it was something different. The store has a thick folder of craft ideas for different age groups, and our group of mixed ages really enjoyed the craft my daughter selected. It was a good in-and-out option, and our craft cost €10 per child, so it was also reasonably priced. Spaces are limited and fill up fast, though, especially on the weekend. If you would like a more detailed review straight from the horse's (=my) mouth, let me know. There is a new second location in Ratingen.
For older kids, there is a more expensive option offered at the indoor skiing venue at the Jever Skihalle
I think this might be our choice next year. Pools also offer parties, but I would wait until the kids were more experienced swimmers.
I will be posting my "controversial" review of Logo Lino in Neuss within a few days. (Spoiler alert: No. Never. Ever.)
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